a thread cut with a carving knife, that is what they call our lives;

I'm listening to "The Scientist" by Coldplay. For some reason I think it's one of the most candid, apologetic loves songs in existance. It humbles me, and makes me want to beg forgiveness for the psychotic, accusatory way I get sometimes. I want to fall on my knees, and say "I KNOW I'm crazy, and you're so good for putting up with all of it". Sometimes I do say that, and then he gives me a look like I've just apologized for having brown hair. He doesn't seem to notice that I'm nuts.

I am in a furry of chaos this morning, putting the finalizations on tonight's New Year's surprise. I couldn't sleep last night because the anticipation has not only made me a nervous wreck, but in the same breath I am very excited to see how the boy will react to all of this.

You would just LOVE to know what I've planned, wouldn't you? Well, tough shit, kids. You have to wait till it's all said and done.

so what if we're outta tune with the rest of the world;

My boss (well he's not techincally my boss, but somewhat of a team lead) asked me for some sage advice on his love-life today. He's dating one of his employees, apparently. It's weird. We work together 5 days a week, and I'm not sure that he has real friends outside of work. It's odd, because he is in his late 50's and I am in my mid early 20's and he has a daughter to which I am very near in age. He wanted advice getting his relationship with this person off the ground. He told me...way too much about his personal life. This man is my superior. He has somewhat the ability to terminate my employment. He's allowed to give me orders. I do NOT want to know about how frequently he tests his hydraulics. But he tells me, and today he confides in me, and now I feel strangely dirty.

unseen this eternal wanting;

Christmas is over, and it's back to regular life. It went by far too quickly, almost as if it never happened. I'm going to convert to Judaism so the celebrations can lost a long nine days.

***
There really is nothing better than having doughnuts and ginger ale for breakfast. Give me about 2 hours and I'll be so weak from a sugar coma, that I'll be liable to drool all over myself, hunched over half asleep at my desk.

I cannot manage to motivate myself to start working this morning. 4 consecutive days off, and I'm expected to come in here bright and early on a Monday morning and produce? Do you people know who I am?! Let's not forget that it is like the second coming of Christ at my neighbors cube, which has a tendency to prevent me from even minimal concentration. It's the same four people who stop by, in constant rotation. It's to the point now where I can predict who will be coming around the corner at any given moment. Why I'm a regular Syliva Browne!

The only good thing about working this week, is that it will bring me that much closer to Wednesday, New Year's Eve. I'm surprising the boyfriend with something, so I'm in much anticipation! I've kept it a secret for about 3 months now, which is probably more of a surprise than anything.

this is cooling, faster than I can;

I'm not big on New Year's resolutions, (or at the very least referring to them as such) but I am going to write in this blog at a minimum of once per day starting 01 January.

That is all.

so maybe you're a four horse engine with a power drive;

I had envisioned writing something really intense and prolific for my first post. However, the truth is that I'd really rather write about things like "Tori played what?! That whore!", "It is really cold out today", and "I just got hit on by a grandfather on my way to the restroom."

The latter is marginally true though, but I only have myself to blame for wearing low cut tops that allow my cleavage to spill out into everyone's lap.